Rules for a Successful Life

hello, my name is leith, and i'm obsessed with animals.  i can't help it, they're just so much better at life than i am.  what would i do without their endless lessons on living according to the rules?

for example, my dogs have taught me that:

• not saying hello to a stranger is rude.  if there is someone within a quarter mile radius of you, you should either stop in your tracks and wait for them to approach you, or if you're in a rush you may charge toward their butt for a quick sniff hello.  it's simply common courtesy.
• never underestimate the kindness of strangers, especially when barbequed meat is involved.
• poop happens.  do it with dignity and pride.
• there's no such thing as "ugly".
• "no" is simply an invitation to act cuter.
• do whatever the cat tells you.

                                                    and my cats have taught me that:

• naps are mandatory for sanity.
• if you're being ignored, just yell more often and twice as loudly.
• shiny things deserve your immediate, undivided attention.
• show no fear...unless the doorbell rings.  then the couch or bed are good hiding options.
• you hold the power to make a man weep and fall to his knees if you keep your nails sharp enough.
• nothing wakes someone up for breakfast quite as well as a good poke in the eye.